The Twitch streamer Asmongold (34) released a major video on the night of October 1, 2024, in which he narrates his life story. He talks about his childhood, his physical decline, the death of his mother, his dedication to MMORPG WoW, and the breakup with a long-term girlfriend, which evidently troubled him.
Asmongold answers these questions in the video: Last night, an unusual video by Twitch streamer Asmongold went live. It’s titled “I’ve lived like an animal for 13 years. Today I explain why”. The video lasts just under 36 minutes.
In the video, the now-successful Twitch streamer describes his childhood with a single mother. His youth was marked by financial hardships after his parents separated.
Asmongold discovered early on that he was “different” and did not have a natural access to emotions and socially accepted behavior, but had to “learn” all of that.
He recounts how he was forced to become a streamer to support himself and his mother financially. His mother’s health had been deteriorating increasingly after she turned 60. Asmongold states that his mother smoked too much and was severely overweight. For years, he would wake up to her calling his name – sometimes this was true, and sometimes he imagined the voice.
Asmongold describes a terrible year in 2021 when his mother died, his long-term girlfriend broke up with him, and his father fell seriously ill. This year changed his life and his thinking. Since then, his neglect, regarding the messy room and lack of personal hygiene, has only worsened.
“I have a moral compass, but it doesn’t point north”
How does he describe his youth? Asmongold says he wasn’t always like he is now but tried to fit in and make a good impression on people until he was about 13. However, he realized early on that something was off with him.
He mentions that he became so upset with another boy while playing baseball that he hit the ball so hard it struck the boy squarely in the face, causing him to collapse, bleed, and lose a tooth. Everyone reacted with horror, but Asmongold felt happier than ever. It was clear to him that something was wrong with him.
He said he would have his mother read him the sins from the Bible because he felt he had to know what not to do. He did have a moral compass, but it did not point north.
At one point, Asmongold mentions that he stabbed someone but then abruptly ends the story, saying that if he shared it, it might change the viewer’s perception of him too much.
Teeth and the irrevocable farewell to “normal life”
How did he lose his teeth? The topic of “teeth” is a significant one for Asmongold. He says that he actually intended to take his own life after high school and therefore never thought about his future or brushed his teeth, but he loved drinking soda.
As a result, he had bad teeth throughout his life, which were initially treated with fillings and gradually fell out as he started streaming and repeatedly pulled out his own teeth. At one point, he experienced such severe tooth pain that he passed out from it.
When he first went to the dentist, he realized that he had inflicted irreparable damage on his body, and a “normal life” was no longer possible. As a child, one thinks that every mistake can be fixed. However, the dentist made it clear to him that his teeth were so rotten that there was no going back.
To afford a complete dental restoration costing about $50,000, he began to build his career and stream.
Today he says he has only 5 real teeth remaining in his mouth; he has no molars, which has significantly changed his appearance.
WoW expansion saves his life by fully consuming him
This role did WoW play in his life: Asmongold casually says that he actually intended to take his own life after high school. But he missed that chance because he became so engrossed in World of Warcraft: Wrath of the Lich King that he somehow overlooked it.
Wrath of the Lich King was released in 2008, and Asmongold is now 34 – he must have been about 18 or 19 back then.
Financial hardship drives him to streaming
How did he get his life together? After deciding to live beyond 20, he tried to get his life in order and worked at the tax office. However, he later had such a terrible job that he decided he didn’t want to live that life.
Thus, he went to university and earned a degree in economics while simultaneously starting his career as a YouTuber. In hindsight, he says he learned more about economics from streaming than from his studies.
Originally, he intended to study law because he found it impressive how one of his friends could interpret the rules to his advantage during discussions about Magic: The Gathering.
But then his streaming career took off, and he urgently needed money because his mother could no longer work. Asmongold says many could provide great reasons for why they started streaming. He simply needed to earn money and often joked that he took the money he earned straight to Wendy’s to buy donuts while his home situation was serious.
Women play no role in life until suddenly a long-term relationship is mentioned
This is what he says about women: Asmongold says women had little interest in him during school. A “level 60 warrior” apparently wasn’t as cool for them as for his friends in WoW.
He states that while all his friends were getting married and having kids, he was living “how he lived,” completely self-determined.
However, his account suddenly mentions a “long-term girlfriend”, but he only mentions her after she broke up with him following his mother’s death.
This is evidently a point where Asmongold nonetheless puts up a barrier before his private life and his thoughts. He does not speak in detail about this relationship, which evidently had a significant influence on him, but only glances over it.
It seems likely that this girlfriend is the streamer PinkSparkles, whom Asmongold has talked about frequently. She apparently lived with him in Austin for a while but chose to return to the big city.
PinkSparkles (28), whom Asmongold frequently refers to as “Izzy”, now has a child and has just announced that she is stepping back from streaming.
He does not mention his “more recent girlfriend” Kaise in the video. There are indications that Kaise was more of a collaboration between two streamers than a romantic relationship.
This is what he says about criticism of himself: Asmongold states that he has practically done everything wrong in his life but has had great success. It’s as if he had a checklist for how to do things right and behaved completely differently. Many seem to have a problem with him.
Even though he does not like this criticism and does not think it is good, in the end, he doesn’t care. He stopped caring about other people’s opinions a long time ago.
Asmongold says everyone he loves is dead, dying, or has left him
What was the crucial moment in the video? At the end of the video, he explains that he has undergone a new transformation over the past few years, around 2021, and is trying to minimize the influence of other people on his life. Because that only brings pain and unhappiness:
- His mother has died – she was always his most important reference person
- His father has fallen seriously ill – he is the only one who can care for his father
- His long-term girlfriend has left him – he does not elaborate on this but it seems that the breakup came from her
The 35-year-old says: Everyone he loves is either dead, dying, or has left him. The more he worried about things, the unhappier he became. This may be a pathological problem for him, but in the end, this is his way of coping. He only takes care of himself – and his father, whom he cares for in his old age.
What does he say about living such a disheveled life? Asmongold says he simply does not think about it. It doesn’t bother him.
For him, the important thing is that he lives as autonomously as possible.
Having money is much better than not having money, but success and a lot of money have not changed him. Maybe he will change his life again, maybe not. He just tries to be happy.
Asmongold explains how he became Asmongold
This is what it’s all about: Asmongold appears authentic in the video and it feels like he is sharing his “origin story”. Some might say he is doing a soul striptease.
The video is a delight for amateur psychologists. One can surely speculate wildly, diagnose, and draw connections between what he has experienced and how he has aligned his life philosophy thereafter.
Some of this may also explain the evolution of his content, which has shifted from gaming content to another direction since the trial involving Johnny Depp and Amber Heard. Nowadays, Asmongold often criticizes individuals who, from his perspective, behave hypocritically or morally wrong – and repeatedly directs the focus of his increasingly angry and outraged community toward individuals.
Many fans are touched by the honesty and clarity with which Asmongold speaks about his life and aging. The comment he pinned reads, “I used to make jokes about bald people – now I have one myself.”
Directly under the video on YouTube, the counseling service is linked. And rightly so.
