The Notorious Ground Tank
Every good group needs a main tank and an off-tank. But who takes care of the undeniably biggest threat in the entire room? Here comes the notorious ground tank into play – an unofficial special role traditionally taken up by dragoons, overly eager melee fighters, or Black Mages who dramatically fall in their ley lines.
Instead of quickly taking down the boss, this player type’s absolute core competency is to closely inspect the textures of these fabulously designed floors. Are the tiles symmetrically laid? And are the pebbles standardized? The ground tank knows it very well, as they spend about 80% of the battle in the vertical.
The “Healing is Trash for Me” Zombie
Here there are basically two camps: those who are too good to accept healing from their in-house medics, and those medics who see healing more as a nice gesture. Because why heal when you can deal damage? After all, you need to heal less if the boss is defeated faster.
And as we know, healers are actually just decoration in Final Fantasy XIV. If healers are present, this player positions themselves exactly one millimeter next to the White Mage’s saving bubble, and every attempt to hit them with area healing is thwarted by panicked running away, as if they had the plague. Chakra is enough, right?
This seems to be the consensus among the corresponding healers, who see themselves more as attackers in green and run their complex damage rotation like a zombie while their teammates slowly but surely drop.
The Duracell Tank
This tank’s only goal is speed. As if he had at least 10 coffees and 20 energy drinks in him, this player runs as if there’s no tomorrow, pulling recklessly until a wall inevitably halts his run. He doesn’t look around; sprint and his stance are his true companions.
Whether healers are still in the cutscene, casters are out of mana, or simply forgot to turn on their stance: as long as it’s fast. Obstacles like corners, walls, or bosses are just temporary speed bumps for him. Often, he only realizes that he is completely alone in a vast field fighting twenty angry monsters when his health points plummet to zero, and then he blames the healer – why is he so slow?
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