The latest patch notes for World of Warcraft were thankfully just an April Fools’ joke. They are still worth reading and amusing.
Blizzard is known for its extravagant April Fools’ jokes, which have repeatedly caused astonished faces or smiles over the last few years. The most extensive April Fools’ joke this year was probably the “fake patch notes,” in which Blizzard pokes fun at World of Warcraft and their own patch cycle. It also shows that the developers know exactly what players think. Unfortunately, the “fake patch notes” are only available in English, so we translated some passages to give you a little taste.
- The Armies of the Legion Judges were successful and have defeated the Burning Legion. Azeroth is finally safe from all enemies, forever. Now it’s time to improve your skills in handling the general chat!
- The damage from lava and similar effects has been adjusted so that it is exactly deadly before you can jump out of the lava.
They also poke fun at the exaggerated requirements of certain players and raid groups:
- Players now need to have the achievement “Ahead of the Curve: Kil’Jaeden” to enter the Tomb of Sargeras.
Furthermore, there are new achievements for the LFR raids:
- Emerald Nightmare (Il’gynoth): Defeat Il’gynoth without ever accidentally damaging the eye with an explosion of nightmare goo.
- Night Hold: Stun 24 other players with a single explosion of Arcane Release.
Legendary items have always been a hot topic of discussion. Luckily, there are many changes here as well:
- The base chance to obtain a legendary item has been increased by 30%, but your luck now increases 50% slower. We’re pretty sure this is better now, but honestly, we’re just guessing.
- Many popular interface addons are now classified as legendary. You can only use 2 of them at a time.
- In addition to the existing effects, Prydaz, Xavaric’s Magnum Opus will now regularly invite you over for dinner and politely ask how you’ve been. Please, it just wants you to like it.
Last but not least, there are class changes coming:
- (Death Knight) Sindragosa’s Breath now makes you suffer while your silly magic backfires.
- Demon Hunters have gained new abilities that better fit the class fantasy of the Demon Hunter. These include:
- Soul Drain
- Chaos Bolt
- Soulstone
- Ritual of Summoning
- Endless Breath
- Worgen Balance Druids can no longer cast “Full Moon” – because of that incident that happened last time.
- (Mages) Aluneth can now be added to the ignore list.
- (Paladins) Luminescence has been renamed to something that is actually a word.
- Shadow Priests
- Hope is an illusion.
- Embrace the Void.
- Your heart WILL EXPLODE.
- NYARL’FGWTH!
- AIGN RYOGL THO’GOTHAYL U’THRGAL!
- Rez pls
- (Rogues) Cloaking Mist now posts a zone-wide scream when a member of your group steps outside the clearly defined boundaries, is noticed by a foe, and then claims they were “not even close.” Stop lying, Todd.
- Shamans
- Guardian Totem returns to the game.
- Just kidding. We’re removing even more totems.
The complete “Patch Notes for Patch 7.8.0” can be found in our sources.
You can find our April Fools’ joke here – it would have slightly diminished your gaming summer.
