The MMORPG The Elder Scrolls Online has a particularly silly pet. Just how ridiculous the “Kieselfreund” really is, our new ESO author David recently experienced first-hand.
Today I would like to introduce you to someone very special: Steini, my new pet of the “Kieselfreund” species. Steini accomplished something that no pet has achieved before: He has exceeded my expectations.
Yes, I admit, these expectations were shaped by prejudices. “The silliest pet you’ll ever have in an MMORPG,” they called him.
When the Fool’s Festival arrived, Steini was all alone in the Crown Store and evoked my sympathy. “As silly as he is, surely no one wants him!” I thought to myself, and sacrificed five hundred of my hard-earned crowns.
Immediately after purchasing, I spawned Steini and looked at him for a while. I was a bit disappointed, as he appeared somehow more spectacular in the picture in the Crown Store display case than in “real life”.
Next to me lay a completely ordinary, inconspicuous stone, like those you can find everywhere else in the world of ESO.
No other player would notice that I had just summoned an exclusive pet that had consumed the thirtyfold hourly wage of a textile production specialist in Myanmar.
“You ripped this off from McDonald’s!”, I thought angrily about Zenimax. What a disgrace! I quickly ran to the next dungeon to blow off steam. Perhaps it would look quite funny when the silly stone trailed behind me. Not a chance! The rascal didn’t move an inch!
How Steini drove me up the wall
It turned out that Steini has his own way of following his master. Every time I walked a certain distance and stopped again, he spawned next to me in the air with a subtle “pop” and then fell down onto the ground, where he remained until I moved a good distance away from him and stopped again.
However, it took me quite a while to understand the principle!
You have to know, I play ESO in first-person perspective and it’s not easy to notice when something manifests right next to or behind you and falls silently to the ground.
And so I initially searched for Steini for a long time where I had left him the first time, only to realize with surprise that he could indeed move as soon as I wasn’t looking.
Additionally, a prankster smeared me with paint, just to empty his inventory. I felt fitting for the current event like a fool for the first time in this game.
Only switching to third-person perspective revealed what a rascal Steini is. He may not be able to walk, but he masters the teleportation spell par excellence.
How Steini and I Became Best Friends
Steini quickly convinced me that you can have fun with him too.
For example, he spawned above a sleeping Guar and landed right on its tail. I hope that doesn’t happen to me when I take a nap. A one-meter fall could really hurt.
And just as it seems, I’m not the only one who has a heart for stones. Here at the way shrine in Arteum, the first official Kieselfreund meeting took place spontaneously. When I wanted to use the way shrine, I saw a relative of my new companion lying nearby.
So I spawned Steini so he could find friends too. Promptly a third player joined and also spawned his silly pet.
As silly as the idea of a completely lifeless pet for the equivalent of 4.62 euros is, the idea behind it is simply wonderfully funny and absurdly cool.
But what do you think? Did you also get a Kieselfreund or is it too silly for you in the end?
