The fantasy simulation Dwarf Fortress has been on a crazy run since its release on Steam. Now the team also has more resources. The developers are announcing a new update, “the cutest update yet”: everything that lives in Dwarf Fortress is supposed to have babies – but players have wicked ideas.
What kind of update is this? Developer Alexandra said on March 15 (via steam): It could be “the cutest update ever made in Dwarf Fortress”: Everything that lives in the game will have a baby form, in some cases even a child form.
While there are already “young beings” in Dwarf Fortress, they don’t have their own model – because Dwarf Fortress was only represented in ASCII code before its launch on Steam.
These new models are supposed to make it much easier for players to immediately recognize the age of a being in Dwarf Fortress: So far, dwarf children simply have the model of adult dwarfs – just with a red shirt.
The developer then shows images of various animals and humanoid creatures in the game, like gremlins, alligators, or troglodytes – always with the child and baby forms.
Players immediately indulge in dark fantasies about what they can do with cute puppies
What wicked thoughts do players have? The fans of Dwarf Fortress are known for their absolute ruthlessness: There’s a really terrible story about mermaid babies, we reported on it at MeinMMO.
And it doesn’t take long for the supposedly “cute news” to bring up some dark thoughts:
- “Hmm… so there could be an evil necromancer who kills a lot of the cute, fluffy animals and creates an army of fluffy sweet zombies… hmm. Just saying.”
- “Can’t wait to pack baby troglodytes into my baby troglodyte smasher!”
- “These baby beings are so cute! Too bad most of them will end up as shoes.”
- “Wow, how cute! Can’t wait to see how delightful their little bodies will look when spread across my fortress after I pulled the wrong lever and freed a steel beast.”
Well, it’s a rough world out there. The really nice story about Dwarf Fortress is about the developers:
