After categorizing the ladies and putting them in boxes last time, today the men can expect the same fate. As with the last time, this should not be read with exaggerated seriousness, but rather with a wink.
The Blind One
He has been in the guild for quite a while, but he doesn’t really enrich it. However, one cannot complain about too little activity, as he is the one who writes in the guild channel. He constantly asks questions about the game, the answers to which could have been found in the manual or the tutorial.
“Where can I reskill?”
“How do I learn a profession?”
“Where are mounts?”
“Can I change my class again?”
I’m sure each of you knows such a gentleman. Fortunately, most guild leaders put such individuals in their place fairly quickly – much to the relief of all involved.
The Dyslexic
eh how do I understand the question you can help me???
Everyone has probably had to read sentences like this in an online game and often one can only guess with a lot of imagination what the author’s true intention could have been. However, if you confront him with his poor writing style, you often receive a response that basically says: I am dyslexic, do not discriminate against me.
It’s difficult to prove if that’s really true, but with the sheer number of people who seemingly suffer from this condition, the suspicion arises that they have all coordinated and chosen my server.
The Leet-HaXX0r
These unfriendly gentlemen can always be recognized by the names they have chosen for their avatars. Usually, the intention is to make the character sound as “cool” and “dangerous” as possible, but in the end, they only make fools of themselves and erect their own “intelligence barrier” that other players cannot cross.
Parade examples would be names like
- “xXShadowDeathXx”,
- “HuNtErKiLLeR” or
- “TheLordofEvil”.
They are convinced that they – and only they – know about their class, and if someone is better, then that person has obviously only been lucky or has “no life”.
The Uncreative
His player character is named “Hans” and his companion animal is either “Frederick” or simply “Bear”. When it comes to developing new tactics for boss fights, one certainly cannot count on this man, as all his creative skills have already been invested in creating his avatar, who, unlike his real appearance, has no beard. But that is the only difference.
The Hardcore Gamer
He would be such a good fellow if he didn’t take the game a tad too seriously. He shows up on time for every raid, is perfectly equipped, has buffs ready for everyone, and of course, he has already read all the boss tactics, if he hasn’t even devised them himself.
Unfortunately, his “humor detector” is completely broken. This means that he only understands jokes in TeamSpeak when you explain them three times, and any ironic remark is taken literally. It’s best to remain silent around this man; then you will have a very successful evening – but not a funny one.
The Hedonist
The game is primarily meant to be fun, especially for him. As long as he gets his kicks, everyone else can be left behind. Have you heard about that annoying bug where players can’t complete a quest for hours if they position themselves in a certain spot? He uses it. Do you know those annoying guys who besiege the graveyard in battlefields and murder every newly resurrected player? That’s him.
The Shiny Materialist
No sooner has a new mount been released in the item shop for 20 euros than he has already purchased it. One might assume that this item would then be used when the player wants to ride somewhere, but wrong thought! His only pleasure seems to be sitting all day in the middle of the capital on his latest investment, but of course, in a way that everyone can see.
He loves the attention when players stop briefly to look at him. Nasty tongues would now claim that this is the virtual equivalent of a big car, with which one also wants to compensate for a certain body part…
The Forum Kid
This young man pays the subscription fees of his MMORPG just to continue expressing his opinion in the various forums. Essentially, everyone already knows it, but he doesn’t grow tired of emphasizing that this online game gets worse with every patch and expansion, and threatens to cancel his subscription every time his favorite feature isn’t met.
Furthermore, of course, [any class he does not play] is significantly stronger and totally unbalanced, while [the class he plays] needs to be buffed urgently, and only his talent allows him to fulfill the role assigned to him by the game.
The Role-Playing Fanatic
I love role play and role players. I really do. But this guy just doesn’t get it. Whether it’s an instance group, raid, or PvP area, the role play is lived out, completely regardless of whether anyone participates in it or it fits the situation. In the heat of battle, he will only cast a healing spell once he has recited the formula “May the light grant me the strength to heal you from these fatal wounds and to fill you again with the gift of hope, so that we can proceed against all evil and villainous adversaries!”
I hope you enjoyed this little list and perhaps recognized one or the other acquaintance in it. Did I forget a category or would you like to add something yourself? Let me know in the comments, as well as your general opinion about this post!
Which female gamer type are you? Female Gamers – Between Desire and Cunning
