On July 19, the book “You Can’t Make It” by Gnu, who is actually named Jasmin, was released. She is the first German-speaking gamer to surpass 1 million subscribers on YouTube. MeinMMO editor-in-chief Leya read her book and wished someone had handed it to her 14-year-old self. Maybe then she wouldn’t have been so hard on herself regarding her own nerdiness and insecurities.
I still remember vividly when we reported with MeinMMO in 2021 that Gnu became the first German-speaking gaming YouTuber to reach 1 million subscribers. I was angry that day.
I’m glad that the gaming landscape is becoming a bit more diverse at the top. But then comes what has to come. The comment section under the article and on our social media posts quickly fills up with stupid remarks along the lines of: “Well, it’s obvious why she made it. Wink, wink.”
Of course, the comments imply that Gnu is an attractive young woman and that her success primarily comes from that. You won’t find most of these comments anymore because we’ve deleted them. I was furious about each and every one of those comments back then.
In her book, Gnu recounts her long struggle and hard fight to get to where she is today.
I wish I had such a book when I was 14. Maybe then I would have recognized earlier that with my passion for the nerd cosmos, I’m not a total freak, that I’m not alone in my insecurities, and that I could have seen a perspective for myself. It’s hard to find role models for young girls like me in the 90s and 2000s. I am 32 years old now.
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About Escapism and Beauty Standards
By now, I have a large stack of books that are supposed to teach me something. Among them are management, communication, problem-solving, team leadership, and a lot of other stuff that wants to help me be successful.
These books are always similarly structured. A person who made it shares a brief insight about the difficulties they faced and how they solved them. It makes sense. After all, you want to benefit from the solution yourself.
Sometimes, however, it’s frustrating. Because for me, it often seems in the compressed version that it was all rather easy.
In Gnu’s book, it’s different. She lays everything bare and gives intimate insights that I wouldn’t have expected. She primarily makes space in her book for the problems and struggles to achieve her success.
Without holding back, the YouTuber talks about her inner conflicts of having been an outsider in school and how she started chasing unrealistic ideals. I find it particularly interesting that she mainly oriented herself towards video game characters like Lara Croft or anime characters like Bulma from Dragon Ball. That was her world, which also provided her with a refuge.
This makes me ponder again how harmful these highly exaggerated fictional characters can be for young people. One can only welcome the trend that we now have more diversity and that characters like Aloy from Horizon draw a different picture than just voluptuousness, hourglass figures, make-up, and perfect hair – even if not everyone likes that.
A major theme of the book is the eating disorder that Gnu developed over her life and which held her firmly in its grips for 10 years. She also openly discusses the cosmetic surgeries she underwent. She is taking them step by step back today as she never wanted the surgeries out of her own, inner motivation.
Her job as a gaming influencer only fueled this disorder further because therein one deals with the public eye and social media – and of course with people who criticize one’s appearance down to the last detail.
Always at Eye Level
I can see my younger self in Gnu’s descriptions. My youth was plagued by bullying, which was strongly connected to my interests in gaming, anime, and nerdy topics.
While I never fell for a crazy beauty ideal, my desperation led to self-harming behavior. Like Gnu describes in her book, I always felt like I could never be enough.
I believe such a book would have really helped me as a young girl. Because especially at a young age, it’s particularly hard to talk about insecurities, fears, one’s own sexuality, or the overreach of others.
Such a book could have shown little Leya that she is certainly not alone with her problems. It would have been really great to read something like this from a successful gamer who shares the same nerdy interests!
The book was written by Gnu in collaboration with co-author Lisa Ludwig, the editor-in-chief of Moviepilot and known from the podcast Lästerschwestern. The two succeeded in keeping the book approachable and relatable, maintaining an equal level. The style is casual and easy to understand, making it perfect for a younger audience.
Co-author Lisa Ludwig is editor-in-chief at Moviepilot. The website belongs to Webedia. MeinMMO is also part of Webedia, just like GameStar and GamePro.
Insight Behind the Façade of the Supposedly Perfect Dream Life as a Gaming Influencer
Many young people today have the desire to become big on Twitch, YouTube, TikTok, and Instagram. In the gaming sector, it’s often shown that one gets paid for playing games, is allowed to play games earlier, is at cool events, and constantly receives gifts. Dream job!
However, the reality is somewhat different, and Gnu shows that. It’s about working independently, meeting deadlines, engaging in tough business negotiations, and marketing. Constantly tracking numbers and trends, reacting to them, and absurd work hours that go well beyond a 40-hour work week.
More and more gaming influencers are expressing that they are collapsing under the pressure.
Gnu honestly reports that she could only do it with the support of her family. She started her YouTube career during her studies while also having another job. It takes a lot of ambition.
These are the hidden work and backgrounds that one doesn’t see when simply watching a video or a stream. Exactly this information would surely benefit many young people who are planning a career in this direction.
Who Should Read Gnu’s Book?
I would immediately hand the book to younger people. Because many of the topics discussed here affect us during a difficult age, when we do not yet really know who we are and what we truly want.
The book handles the tough topics, such as the eating disorder, with care and does not provide any instructions on how one could emulate it.
If you are thinking about giving the book to your child, I would recommend reading it yourself first. Especially for a very young audience, the topics may indeed be quite grown-up. You might want to skip one or the other chapter or at least read it together with the child.
I would also highly recommend it to you if you are considering pursuing a career as a gaming influencer. Here you get deep insights that give you a good idea of what kind of job awaits you.
As someone over 30, I’ve also gained a lot from the book. Especially as someone who works in the media field and, well… was also a dumb teenager at one point. I found affirmation and a bit of balm to hold my inner child tightly once again.
MeinMMO interviewed Gnu in 2020: Sexism in the Gaming Industry: ‘I thought it was just part of it’
More and more gaming influencers are expressing that they are collapsing under the pressure.
Gnu honestly reports that she could only do it with the support of her family. She started her YouTube career during her studies while also having another job. It takes a lot of ambition.
These are the hidden work and backgrounds that one doesn’t see when simply watching a video or a stream. Exactly this information would surely benefit many young people who are planning a career in this direction.
Who Should Read Gnu’s Book?
I would immediately hand the book to younger people. Because many of the topics discussed here affect us during a difficult age, when we do not yet really know who we are and what we truly want.
The book handles the tough topics, such as the eating disorder, with care and does not provide any instructions on how one could emulate it.
If you are thinking about giving the book to your child, I would recommend reading it yourself first. Especially for a very young audience, the topics may indeed be quite grown-up. You might want to skip one or the other chapter or at least read it together with the child.
I would also highly recommend it to you if you are considering pursuing a career as a gaming influencer. Here you get deep insights that give you a good idea of what kind of job awaits you.
As someone over 30, I’ve also gained a lot from the book. Especially as someone who works in the media field and, well… was also a dumb teenager at one point. I found affirmation and a bit of balm to hold my inner child tightly once again.
MeinMMO interviewed Gnu in 2020: Sexism in the Gaming Industry: ‘I thought it was just part of it’
