Communication is Key
Another major factor in why this has been working for us for so long without any displeasure is that we regularly seek feedback as needed or at appropriate milestones – and everyone does so. While this may sound self-evident to many, it is often not the case in practice.
Oftentimes, things that annoy or could be improved are not addressed or are brought up too late, causing tensions to boil over. It is better, even if it is sometimes not easy, to express one’s feelings directly and to ensure understanding. Only then can compromises and solutions be found that maintain enjoyment for everyone.
For this reason, our game master frequently asks what we particularly like and what we do not, and for what reasons. He also probes sensitive topics, such as horror elements, traumatic events, or significant changes to characters, beforehand to ensure that we are truly comfortable with them.
Whether the pacing is right, the tension level, or whether we have quest types we would like to play again. Regular exchanges about desires and expectations are important so that everyone stays engaged and no one mentally checks out along the way.
Similarly, we have the agreement in our group that things that one does not like or finds uncomfortable should be addressed directly in the situation. Similarly, uncertainties about the story, interactions, or one’s character are openly discussed and addressed at eye level. Many of us found this initially quite difficult, but it has become a trained mechanism that avoids a lot of conflict and displeasure.
Open conversations also create a space where everyone feels comfortable and dares to try things in role-play without fear or shame. And exactly that helps immensely in creating authentic and exciting stories in the long run – because those who feel secure and understood can also be creative and contribute ideas.
Open communication about one’s needs from one’s own perspective without apportioning blame or assigning fault is not always easy, but it is worth working on, even outside of Dungeons & Dragons.
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