In Final Fantasy XIV there are a number of mounts that are truly absurd. We present 10 of them and explain how you can obtain them.
When Final Fantasy XIV came back online almost 7 years ago, players could only choose from a small number of mounts. There were the classic Chocobos and a handful of other means of transportation.
By now, the MMORPG has more than 160 different mounts, and some of them are so absurd that they are actually great. Here are the 10 best of them.
The Spellbed
According to legend, the flying bed was commissioned by a member of the royal family of Voeburt. The man was so lazy that he wished nothing more than to never part from his pillow.
As much as most of us can understand this longing (especially on Monday mornings), the mount is still a pretty absurd choice for the Warrior of Light. They are always eager to complete the latest fetch quests and deliver as many Allagan stones to Rowena as possible. Always…
How do I obtain the Spellbed? If you want to fulfill your character’s dream of always having a cozy bed with you, you need to craft it or ask your friends.
The bed requires:
- 10x Wind Crystal
- 10x Ice Crystal
- 4x Puffs of Cloud
- 4x Natural Velvet
- 3x Enchanted Elm Lumber
Alternatively, you can also buy the bed at the market board if you have the necessary funds.
Adaman-Taimai
It is not a big deal that we are dealing with a flying turtle with Adaman-Taimai. After all, turtles glide through the water so elegantly that it seems like they can fly. The catch here is more about how Adaman-Taimai flies.
The dizzying spinning while flying not only looks ridiculous, but it should cause severe nausea for any Warrior of Light after no more than 15 seconds. Aside from that, Adaman-Taimai are not native flyers. Only with the help of thaumaturgic magic are they able to rise into the air. Science has clearly gone too far here.
How do I obtain Adaman-Taimai? This mount can be found in the casino of FFXIV, the Gold Saucer.
- You can exchange 200,000 MGP for Adaman-Taimai at the receptionist in the Gold Saucer (X: 5.1 / Y: 7.6)
Whisper Gondola (Special)
Just the first look at this mount makes it clear why it made it onto our list of craziness. Players of FFXIV sometimes affectionately refer to the grin as “Sperm.” Unlike most other mounts, it does not adjust its size to the player’s race.
A Lalafell might look cute in the gondola, but at the latest with a male Au Ra, it’s hard to look at without shaking your head or laughing. Not to mention Roegadyns.
Where do I get the gondola? Currently, it is unfortunately not possible to obtain the Whisper Gondola Special. It was tied to a limited-time collaboration event with Yokai Watch.
However, there is a possibility that the event will return to FFXIV. Then you can jump right into the grind.
Fat Cat
When the fat cat first became available in FFXIV, it immediately became (for about 5 hours) the community’s collective favorite mount. It was dedicated to fan art and parades were held. And hardly anyone wondered where it came from and why it could even fly.
Even though the fat cat looks extremely comfortable and soft, Warriors of Light should beware. It is most likely a demonic non-entity or a bloated cat corpse controlled by one. In any case, it’s not a good idea to ride it, no matter how cute the mount appears.
How do I obtain the fat cat? Those who can’t resist all that fluffiness and have no fear of non-beings or necromancy can only purchase the cat in the FFXIV real-money shop.
- The fat cat is available at the Moogle Kiosk for €16.80
Dhalmel
While flying pigs in FFXIV are not so unusual and even make sense from a lore perspective, flying giraffes are a different story. Not even the game itself can provide a clear answer as to how Dhalmel learned to fly.
Reportedly, a Dhalmel once tried to reach the juicy leaves of a tree located on a neighboring island in the sea of clouds. However, it slipped and fell to the depths. Through sheer willpower to survive, it then spontaneously learned to fly. Let’s be honest, that sounds crazy.
How do I obtain the Dhalmel? If you absolutely want the giraffe, you will need a bit of luck or Gil in your pocket.
- Dhalmel is available as one of the rewards for the Kupo Lottery during the reconstruction of Ishgard
- Alternatively, you can also buy the Dhalmel at the market board
Dodo
We’ll let you in on a secret: Not a single mount on this list can fly without any use of magic or technology. This also applies to the only real bird among them: the Dodo.
But that’s not even the reason why the Dodo made it onto this list. Dodos couldn’t fly in the real world either, and that was okay. The animations and appearance of the mount in FFXIV are simply so ridiculously absurd that there was no way around it. Look into its eyes. That silly look says it all.
How do I obtain the Dodo? To obtain the Dodo, you need to rely either on your drop luck or put some money on the table.
- The Dodo is randomly available from the Platinum Radiant Treasure Chests found in the dungeon Heaven’s Pillar
- Alternatively, you can also buy the Dodo at the market board for Gil
Mogry Moppel
The Mogry Moppel had to fight hard to earn its spot on this list against another heavyweight from FFXIV: The Chocomoppel in all its color variations. However, the Mogry performed slightly better on the absurdity scale.
While the Chocomoppel as a bird has a certain affinity for flying, this is less the case for the Mogry. On the contrary. Even its in-game description states that its considerable body volume comes from overindulging in Kupo Nuts and that its little wings should not be able to hold it up in the air. And yet, they do.
How do I obtain the Mogry? The romantic souls among you who want to invite your partner for a ride with the Mogry Moppel need to go to the FFXIV real-money shop first:
- The Mogry Moppel is available at the Moogle Kiosk for €21.00
Urn of the Water Serpent
For countless years, the Great Serpent of Ronka, whose voice makes the earth tremble, lay in a deep sleep. Now it has awakened and decided to bless you with its divine presence. The fact that it appears in the form of a chubby worm or sits in an urn is of no importance to the chosen followers.
They are indeed able to recognize the divinity of the Great Serpent of Ronka, whose holiness outshines the sun, in any form! And whoever dares to mock the Great Serpent of Ronka, the holy protector of the forest, will feel its wrath.
How do I obtain the urn of the Great and Holy Water Serpent? The path to the urn of the serpent is long and dangerous. The chosen adventurers must travel to another world and fight against the flood of light.
The exact quest sequence is explained in this article:
Tyrannosaurus
In the dark age, there was a distinction in FFXIV between mounts that could fly and those that could not. Then the development team decided to give every mount the ability to fly. This led to the skies of the MMORPG world being filled with flying creatures that would normally prefer to stay on the ground.
At the top of that list was the Tyrannosaurus, which when flying looks as if it doesn’t quite know what the hell it’s doing. Of course, in FFXIV, everything can basically be explained with “It’s magic!” But then you should be prepared for the fact that some mounts will end up on our absurd list because of it.
How do I obtain the Tyrannosaurus? If you want to ride a flying dinosaur, you sadly must head to Eureka:
- The Tyrannosaurus is a random drop from the Anemos Lockboxes in Eureka Anemos
Ufiti
Even though flying monkeys haven’t been a novelty since The Wizard of Oz, Ufiti from FFXIV is a different caliber. This is partly because it is a huge flying gorilla and not a little monkey with wings and a hat.
On the other hand, we are indeed riding a mount whose species has been almost completely wiped out. By us. The influx of adventurers to the diadem, where Ufiti used to live, led to the monkey population being massacred. And now we use it as a mount.
How do I obtain Ufiti? To obtain your own monkey that carries you around, you need to be able to craft or have some Gil in your pocket.
- Ufiti Horn can be exchanged for 8,400 Sky City Reconstruction Tokens at the NPC Enie in Ishgard (Sky City X: 12 / Y: 14)
- or you can acquire it at the market board
So much for our ridiculous mounts in the game. Do you know of any other mounts that are similarly silly but funny?
