Many MMOs thrive on their persistent world, where players can happily hop around and interact with all kinds of NPCs. One trades, fights, or talks to them – and then they usually slip from one’s mind. Yet, NPCs deserve much more respect! Because they have no easy life …
Imagine you are trapped in an MMO. A constant loop forces you to repeat the same actions over and over again. Or even worse: To have things done to you by others. Therefore, let us take a moment of silence for these seven poor souls!
The NPC with Chronic Pain
The NPC with chronic pain has actually made only one mistake in life: He put his hand in a beehive / stepped into a bear trap / devoured three chocolate cakes at once. Actually no problem – if it weren’t for the treacherous MMO life!
Hardly freed by a heroic player or provided with laxatives, he finds himself after a brief moment of blissful relief back in the exact same situation as before. No wonder that the plea for redemption often sounds so pitiful.
The Mini Pet
Yes, the mini pet looks cute, is pampered and can frolic around all day long – what could be so bad about that? Unfortunately, many of them are shoved into dark, tiny bags, and at worst, crammed in with several other pets in tight spaces!
They are then brought out depending on mood to be pitted against all sorts of other animals in horrible battles! How fortunate that PETA has not yet caught on to this animal cruelty!
The Merchant
If the merchant is not living in the farthest dirt hole of the galaxy, he actually has a pretty pleasant life: After all, he usually has a roof over his head and is getting paid!
But for what? “Mr. Merchant, please: Three dozen shredded rat tails, four kilos of pebbles and a sack full of Murloc eyes! Thanks for the gold, bye!” Due to the overly strict laws of the V.E.R.A.R.S.C.H.T.* regarding the buying and selling of goods, merchants are unfortunately forced to accept any deck. In the literal sense.
*V.E.R.A.R.S.C.H.T.: Vassociation of eager Rubbish dealers associated with reality-remote Simulation games cultivated taily
NPCs that Cannot Be Killed by Players of Other Factions
NPCs like particularly important quest givers that cannot be killed by hostile players simply never die. What sounds like a blessing can actually be a relentless curse!
For they have to watch helplessly as all their loved ones around them are slaughtered. Blood splatters on their shoes, piles of corpses stack up – and they have to witness it all. From the beginning to the bitter end. And that over and over again. This is torture par excellence!
The Trash Mob
Not only do they have to stand around idly all day long, they are also treated like trash and mercilessly slaughtered as soon as a player spots them!
Maybe they just want to relax! Maybe they don’t want to work for the nasty big bad and have already written a note: “Dear Hero, please save me from this nightmare!” It’s not easy being a trash mob …
The Nasty Big Bad
Okay. The nasty big bad often deserves it somehow. Still, he is attacked and shredded over and over again! And even multiple times a day! If he is an especially sought-after villain, he may die even once a minute! That is not exactly enviable.
And even if he is already retired, since his instance or raid is long cold coffee, he is still fought in his old days! Just like that! For fun! Because he drops some special fluff item or because someone wants to break a record. He is farmed. Forever.
Every Single Employee of the Goldshire Inn
Do you still remember therape problem in Goldshire? Either way: Dirty dialogues, pseudo-witty stripteases, drunken stumbling characters, and then also fights up to bloody attacks from the Horde.
My heart goes out to you, brave bartenders, barmaids, and other employees of the Goldshire Inn. My next beer is on you!
