If you’ve spent a long time in a guild of an MMORPG, you will know them: the annoying ones, the funny ones, and the downright crazy guild members! Here we present to you the ten types you meet in every guild – whether you like it or not!
Guild members come and go, and over time you will encounter an incredibly large number of different types of guild members. While some are pleasant individuals, others can be quite annoying. Here’s the stage for the ten individuals who have already cost me a nerve or two! Caution: May contain traces of cliché and irony.
The Nest Builder
One of the most pleasant guild members and at the same time the one who is most often taken advantage of. He would do anything for his guild, which he secretly affectionately calls “family.” He farms resources painstakingly, crafts armors and potions, and at the end of the day deposits everything neatly in the guild bank – along with the gold he was able to gather.
Always concerned that his “family” lacks nothing, he sacrifices time and money. If possible, he even crochets warm socks so that no one has to freeze their toes while gaming in winter!
Typical quote: “I just collected a few legendary, hard-to-farm daisies. I put them in the bank, just take what you need. :)”
The Couple
The couple consists not of two individuals – it is the individual. If one part of the couple is assigned in a raid, the other will inevitably be soon as well. At the latest, after a serious conversation with the raid leader, where “Better Half A” explains that he can only play together with “Better Half B” or their loving hearts will die a miserable death.
Often, one part is a hardcore gamer, while the other is more inclined to stick around to be with their “Schnurzi” – driving the rest of the guild up the wall.
Typical quote: “Sure, I’m happy to come along! But wait! Can my boyfriend join? He doesn’t have the right gear yet, but we’ll pull him through, right?”
The Desirable
In male-dominated guilds, they stand out more: the female players. It doesn’t really matter how “the desirable” looks; after the first tentative – and definitely feminine – “Hello” in TeamSpeak, she already has her first fan club. They follow her more or less conspicuously everywhere and help her wherever they can. Whether it’s items, raid spots, or a kind word: The desirable lacks nothing!
Playfully, the desirable likes to push it to the limit by continually throwing small treats in the form of photos, sighs in TS (“I just stretched!”) or flirtations in front of the crowd. It only gets critical when a second woman steps onto the stage. Quickly, the claws come out to ensure that she, and only she, has the right to be in the spotlight!
Typical quote: “Oops. My lollipop just fell into my cleavage, be right back!”
The Achievement Fan
The fan of achievements of all kinds is determined to achieve them. The annoying part: He lets everyone know and wants to involve them all. It’s actually nice of him, as he simply wants to share the fun with others. Unfortunately, he overshoots the mark.
No success is too silly for him, no achievement too unattainable! The guild chat is full of his requests to fish together for four days to finally get the “MMO is looking for the super angler” achievement.
Typical quote: “Anyone finally up for the jumping achievement? You just have to jump 10 thousand times in a row without stopping. Oh, and Merry Christmas, by the way.”
“The Girl”
The girl does not speak in TS. The girl never shows pictures of herself. However, she is always nice, friendly, and makes sure no one forgets that she is a girl. Her extravagant stories about herself tell of a girl who cannot escape flirt inquiries, who has furnished her room in pink, and has an army of cats.
Whether the girl is actually a female being is, however, not documented. Old guild legends say that “Viola” is actually named “Horst.” For some time now, there have been attempts to invite “the girl” to the guild event, but she “unfortunately cannot attend due to financial reasons.” The fundraising campaign is already running and will be broadcast on RTL.
Typical quote: “Geez, why should I buy a microphone when I can communicate wonderfully via chat?!”
The Social One
Raids and levels are actually irrelevant to the social one. He prefers to hang out in the guild chat and in the guild forum just to chat. If he manages to get into a raid group, you hear, in TS, the hissing of a beer can as the first thing. Although he is only moderately involved in the success of the raid, he always manages to maintain the good mood of the team during wipes.
Much more important to him than raids are the guild meetings in real life. He loves to organize them, offers his party cellar for it, or researches the coolest locations in the respective area.
Typical quote: “So, after the raid we are finally going to vote on when the guild meeting is, okay?!”
The Inactive One
Once one of the guild founders, he has long since mentally signed off. However, he still holds the second-highest guild rank, which unconsciously commands respect from new members. When he comes online every few weeks, a murmur goes through the guild, he is showered with confetti, and people virtually embrace each other to warmly welcome the lost son.
Then, he swears high and holy that he will come online regularly from now on and support the raids. Solemnly and under the watchful eyes of the loyal guild, he signs up for the line-up – and then doesn’t show up. Instead, he disappears again for weeks, if not months, into oblivion.
Typical quote: “Hi! Wow, we are so many now, I don’t know half of you! Let’s all meet in TS tomorrow, I really feel like doing something with you!”
The Helpless One
The poor soul is always lagging behind. Whether it’s because his day job doesn’t allow him time to farm or he simply plays slowly, he just can’t keep up! Desperately, he clings to the skirts of the other guild members to get carried through instances and still grab a few epic items.
His problem: he unfortunately also sounds exceedingly needy. Instead of taking matters into his own hands, he prefers to ask for help for hours, while remaining inactive otherwise.
Typical quote: “Um, I don’t mean to bother you, but I would like to raid as well. 🙁 Can someone quickly carry me through Raid 1-10 and then help me with the eternally long class quest? Pleeeeeease!”
The Pro
The pro can do everything, knows everything, and has everything. So, in his mind. And in the form of muscles on his arms. And in general. He knows the MMO like the back of his hand, and if you are to believe him, he has already played it before the beta and even before the developers themselves, so he knows everything better.
At least: he actually reads every guide and internalizes it, so he can always be relied on in raids. If only it weren’t for his tendency to rub it in everyone’s face at every opportunity how incredibly great he is…
Typical quote: “Now stop with the small talk! Let’s go over the strategy for tomorrow’s raid again!”
The Thief
The thief is not a very sociable, but also not a conspicuously quiet member of the community. Sometimes he quests along, occasionally throws in a few sentences in the guild chat, and neither stands out positively nor negatively. His hour, however, comes much later. Then, when he has gained the guild’s trust and receives all rights. Also those for the guild bank.
Under the cover of night, he then logs in, sneaks into the bank, and steals everything he can get into his specially made bags. Shortly thereafter, he leaves the guild without a word and is never seen again.
Typical quote: “Hi. (…) Cu.”
Do you see yourself in any of these types? Which ones dominate your current guild? And what other variations do you know? Let us know in the comments!
